Over the past year we have been wearing masks – face coverings – in an attempt to protect one another from illness. Some people feel safer and more protected wearing them, others feel inhibited. Still, I can’t help but wonder if everyone feels more invisible wearing a mask. I know I do, and sometimes I actually like it. I have enjoyed walking through the grocery store lip synching to my play list without anyone noticing and yawning without covering my mouth. Regardless of the efficacy or freedoms at stake, I believe the masks are a barrier to our human connection. Face coverings impede our ability to convey nonverbal sentiments, recognize one another, and even convey a simple smile. I think the physical masks prevent us from truly seeing each other.

Many times during these months of mask mandates, I have thought about a different kind of mask. One that we have all worn most of our lives without objection, our metaphorical masks.

These metaphorical masks are used to camouflage and cover up. We aren’t born with this mask, but we learn pretty early in life that we need this mask for protection. You see children aren’t born with the innate sense of self-doubt. They are predisposed to expect love, acceptance and nurturing. So, when criticism comes – especially when it comes early – we start to stitch our masks.

Each criticism, each word of condemnation, causes us to want to hide our authentic self. Even if we know that the criticizer is wrong, still we try to hide that part of us that may be vulnerable to attack. Over time, we become so used to wearing this metaphorical mask that we forget to ever take it off. We smile, we put on a good front, and we say “fine” even when our life feels far from fine. We lose touch with the truth of who we are, our most authentic selves. We put on the mask and cover up, hoping others won’t see the real us.

What if we decided to take off our metaphorical masks? What would happen if we started, albeit slowly and with those we feel most safe, to be our authentic self? What if we stopped filtering everything through what we thought other people would think or how they would respond?  What if we got real with one another? I know this can be scary. It is a risk.

Life can be hard, and life can be lonely. We all need people, our people. People who understand us, encourage us, and are for us. Some people will like the authentic you. But some will not…and that’s ok, that just means they apparently aren’t your people.

This week, I encourage you to think about your authentic self. Who are you really, at your true authentic core? Consider who you really are when no one is watching, and consider whether that describes the person you want to be? Then, find even one small area that you can begin living with authenticity.

And while you’re at it, consider how you can also leave space for others to be their authentic selves too.