Are you a people pleaser? To some degree I think everyone struggles with this, at least a bit. We want to be liked. We want to have friends. People generally don’t want others to think negatively about them. And most of us would like to avoid unnecessary conflict. I get that. Yet, you really aren’t being your authentic self if you go through life trying to please other people.
In life, and certainly in any leadership capacity, you will not please everyone all the time. Jesus said, “Woe to you when all the people speak well of you and praise you, for their fathers used to treat the false prophets in the same way” (Luke 6:26, AMP). Now that’s a serious warning. I think Jesus was saying that when we chase the approval of others, deception is certain. When all people are happy with you, someone is lying – either you are not being honest about who you are and what you believe, or some of the people are lying by agreeing with you.
Our courage and conviction must be rooted in something other than what people think of us. That is not to say we should strive to be disliked. But in these days of moral relativism, there must be a higher purpose – a greater principle – that serves as our compass. Instead of being people pleasers, perhaps we should be principle pleasers.
I love how the Amplified Bible translates Psalm 144, verse 1: “The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], but the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].” I don’t want to be a foolish woman who ignores godly principles. I want to live an authentic principle pleasing life. Among other Christian principles, I would list the following:
- Live generously.
- Deliver truth with grace.
- Show compassion.
- Choose kindness over niceness.
- Be authentic.
- Do the right thing, especially when it’s hard.
Proverbs 29:25 (NLT) says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.” I decided a long time ago that I would not fear people, only God. And that has shaped my life in many ways I could not have imagined.
How about you, have you ever thought about the principles that govern the way you live? Consider making a list of them this week. You just may find yourself more interested in authentically, albeit imperfectly, following your principles, rather than chasing the approval of people.